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Caskets In Space

    Space, the Final Frontier?

     Let’s face it, earth is a crowded place these days. I don’t think that I’m stretching the point when I say that the deceased constitute the largest population on the planet; occupying real estate that we desperately need. Building communities on top of ancient burial grounds turns out to be an unpopular idea, thanks to one stupid movie. Consequently, entrepreneurs may provide a promising alternative - burial in space. Yes, it’s morbidly opportunistic, but there is money to be made in outer space and orbiting funeral parlors and mausoleums are definitely in our future. The concept is already gaining a large following, especially for those with enough money to rocket themselves or their deceased loved ones off to the rings of Saturn.

     So...the Space Shuttle is not quite the dead issue (no pun intended)it was thought to be; actually, it has a rather bright future - simply substitute the NASA logos with something like Teddy’s Interplanetary Funerals and Cemetery and we have a new and highly profitable space program.

     Absurd? Sure, but we know from experience that there are no limits to the lengths people will go to make money. With the reality of space colonization at our doorstep, the possibilities are fascinating. Think of it for a moment…hotels, casinos, fast food chains, floating rocket fuel stations; (Regular $198.95) even gravity free red light districts where anything is possible in every conceivable position. The off-world business opportunities are limitless. The best part? Gravity free and tax free are synonymous. The IRS is lost in space. This is subject to change, however. The government will not simply stand by and watch as galactic conglomerates reap huge profits in space. A source told me recently that the administration has a bill before Congress now that would federalize space from just outside earth’s atmosphere to Pluto, but I am wondering how that can be done when other countries will claim rights to an equal share. It is typical though, that America will attempt to cement its claim to all of outer space. After all, God created the universe, and as far as I know, he has always backed the red, white and blue. I can envision some heated controversy about this.

     Realistically, there are just too many Gods involved, and who will decide which ones have a say in all of this? Even the evangelists will want something. An evangelical “biggie” could host enormous space congregations on Rigel 7, which does in fact exist. I know this because Captain James T. Kirk discovered it years ago, and cleaned out the Romulans in the process. We might encounter some problems with the Klingons, but surely we will bring freedom and democracy to the Klingon people, whether they want it or not.

     Star wars may become an unavoidable reality, as countries that have been salivating to use nukes will find plenty of space to play with their “nookular” toys. This is the part that scares me; a vastly superior race is out there somewhere, and they are going to have a problem with all of this. They may like our cheeseburgers, but they won’t look the other way when we begin rocketing caskets into their atmosphere and poisoning their galaxy with industrial waste, space garbage, nuclear bombs and inter-galactic radioactive fallout. The long awaited contact with life that may exist light years away will finally arrive.

     “You can keep your McDonalds and Home Depots…we like them, but get rid of those caskets and that nuclear $%#@ or we will turn you to dust.” Frightening, you say? I can envision our new president taking a hard stance, if for no other reason than to show the public that he’s as tough as they come.

     “We will not allow space tyrants to tell us what to do. Evil will not be tolerated in any form, even if it has three heads and 18 fingers. By executive order, I have declared war with these space bullies, and with God on our side, we shall prevail.” Of course, Sarah Palin will have something to say as well.

     Ididn’t allow this kind of thing in Wasilla, and I won’t condone it now. Let’s get it done with and bomb the living #$@! out of them.

     We should be mindful about what we do in space. Our military might may not fare too well against a race that has the technology to send us light-mail messages. And in spite of everything we have done to our home, earth is still a very nice place. I would hate to see it obliterated because Sarah Palin has a big mouth. So…let’s stick with fast food; maybe a few McDonalds for now. A Starbucks might be okay too.

     A Quarter Pounder is a clear gesture of good will. If we are going to reach out and touch someone, let’s give it to them their way. ª


 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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America the Beautiful

     I know the amber waves of grain exist, but they are far, far away...in a land still untarnished by progress, the thing we cherish most even if it comes at the expense of beauty.

     Vision and Verse     
     =============

     The earliest settlers of our nation did not arrive on our shores simply to escape the hopelessness of oppression. They came because they had heard of a land almost too beautiful to imagine, a land of unlimited resources and opportunity. Despite the hardships that accompanied settlement on an uncharted continent, they did something so monumental that schoolbooks cannot find the words to describe the miracle - they forged a new nation. The books our children read speak of farming, logging, trapping and a myriad of other endeavors requiring men and women to reach within for every ounce of will, sweat and toil. Sadly, they overlook an astounding miracle of creation. Imagine it for a moment. There can be no comparisons; the miracle is as unique as it is astonishing. It has never been duplicated...at any time, anywhere. From the heart and soul of man's imagination, a nation was created, forged in the image of dreamers; people willing to brave staggering adversity. America offered a man the freedom to worship without fear, allowed a poor man to
prosper and became a sanctuary for the disenchanted and impoverished. Amber waves of grain and the purple mountain’s majesty were more than just words to a song - America had the enticing look and fragrance of a spanking new car. There were no streets lined with gold, but for those who were both courageous and desperate enough to endure the hardships of a voyage that offered no guarantees, America presented them with an opportunity to create a society that prior to their arrival had been nothing more than an idea; a dream - the figment of some French philosopher's fantasy. 
Long before Walt Disney set foot on planet earth, Tinker Bell waved her wand, and from the tumultuous seas, an enormous and magical land mass rose up and greeted it's new inhabitants.

     "Hello," America said, "What is mine can now be yours." Colonization began.

     July 4th celebrations can never do justice to the miracle. On that memorable day in 1776, a brash and determined band of colonists had the audacity to declare this nation's independence from tyranny. The events that led to that momentous declaration have been forgotten by many, but I remember them as if they happened yesterday. Why? My answer is simple - I can write this, the publisher can print it and you can read it; without fear of that dreaded knock that has become engraved in history’s dark catalogue of oppression and terror.     

     There were contradictions     

    The British believed that they could win a war by invading, pillaging and plundering everything that America's colonists had worked and died to create. Men of wisdom and foresight said "no," and put their refusal to words, protecting new values and beliefs with powerful and beautifully written words. The words are still embedded in our culture, as they were intended. We know the words, but we quickly lost sight of the message. The result is painful to contemplate, for the “shoe is now on the other foot,” and that shoe is too small for the foot. The metaphor may seem oblique, but the facts speak for themselves. We played out the transgressions of our oppressors and fought them at the same time.      Hitler assumed and lost.     

     History proofs the equation; the futility of Britain’s attempt to invade - with more than ten times the military might and weaponry, they failed miserably. One might wonder how this was possible. There is no mystery to it - try to invade a man’s home and you will understand. Sadly, we forgot and failed to comprehend the power of belief; the awesome might of heart that causes people to defend to the death the very values they worked so feverishly to protect. Within that
memory lapse lies the beast, for we selfishly assumed ownership of stolen land and came to believe that only our values were worth protecting.     

     The British made the same mistake and we drove them out with their tails between their legs.
t for the same reason. We assumed and paid dearly in Vietnam, but we are poor historians. There are exceptions to the rule of assumptive colonialism, and sometimes, no matter how hard a man fights to defend his home, he loses it. Native Americans learned this and the blood is still on our hands. Was their power of belief insufficient to protect them from invasion? Certainly not. They simply lacked the technology and cynicism, while those who took from them used technology and shameless lies to render them helpless. Time has helped us to forget that had it not been for the wisdom of those who had not lost their
vision and a collective conscience that prevailed over the Hitlers of the time, an entire race may have been exterminated

     The "great assumption" has become reality again, as we invade, pillage and plunder just as His Majesty’s army attempted three centuries earlier; the only difference being this - we are pillaging and plundering our our own people. This re-cycling of history's worst moments has become a frightening and routine reality...not in some distant and backwards land but right here, in America.
 
     Barrack Obama is literally choking the life from this once great country. He tells us that we have to “spend our way” out of the economic crisis that threatens to bury us in an ocean of debt. He is the salesman for a nationalized healthcare program that will bankrupt America in less time than it will take to pass the healthcare bill. He tells us that same sex marriage is fine; despite centuries of it NOT being fine. And to put the icing on the Obama cake, he plans to completely disarm the country, in total defiance of the constitution.
     But “He is our President,” you say. Well, when was the last time we had a non-citizen in the oval office?
Does anyone really care about allof this? It appears not. Americans have become complacent, and while they revel in the pleasures of their pursuits, the liberal collective gains momentum; bringing with it the threat of socialism...no, let’s not mince words - communism.

     Blinded by our collective cultural ego, we do not recognize the fact that we are self destructing. America's miracle has been tarnished.Telltale and horribly unpleasant signs are everywhere. and believe me, you don't want to look too closely. If you do, hold your breath, and you will see the signs on the New Jersey Turnpike as you pass through Rahway, Edison and Elizabeth. Miles of refineries pour out their poisonous stench from endless rows of smokestacks. Clearly, this was not what the early settlers of this country envisioned. But then they could never have imagined how important it would be to produce gasoline, a substance to which we are hopelessly addicted. Our dependence on internal combustion blinds us to alternatives that already exist, yet we continue to pay a morbid toll for our unwillingness to change. Our freedom to drive gasoline guzzling automobiles enslaves us to a culture of tyrants. While we struggle and stretch those paychecks to their limits, men in flowing white robes dine on caviar, pay billions for thoroughbred racehorses and billions more for arms that we willingly sell to them.

     Whether we admit it or not, we have already invaded a land divided - America. We have become diseased. And the disease may be terminal. Yet we have always been a nation of miracles. Is it time...once again? If things continue as they have been, our future may look like this...
 

    The American States, 2015.

     Journal entry, November 22, 2015.

   Johnson is the name. William Johnson. I work for BART - Barter Exchange and Redemption Taxation. There is no Bay Area Rapid Transit anymore. There hasn't been much of anything since the crash of 2009. The states are no longer united, there is no President and no Federal Government. States are run by Governors who are now autonomous and make the laws, which are enforced by state militias that have the authority to kill lawbreakers on sight and arbitrarily detain people in government holding facilities. Thousands died in these detention centers when supplies of food and water stopped abruptly. Curfews vary from state to state, but in general, people must be off the streets and in their homes by 9:00 pm.

   After the collapse the people learned that they had been defrauded - that money had been privatized for thirty years and existed only in the form of credit. They rebelled and martial law was imposed to stop the rioting and looting. The Pentagon disbanded and the military were re-assigned to the states by a committee of Governors appointed by the Justice Department, which subsequently disbanded when the states declared independence.

   These first seven years have been hell. Goods and services are in short supply and Americans, in their rage against a system that had ruthlessly defrauded them, have been on a rampage. Looting and rioting has subsided, but the truth is, you don’t want to be surprised without a weapon. I keep a rifle and a handgun. So far I’ve used them twice. In both cases, it was clear that our attackers would kill us. They wanted our home and I could not let them take it.

   By order of the Governors, material holdings of captured criminals were stockpiled in BART redemption centers throughout the states and these became the banks.
 
   Stores continue to operate, but money and credit has been replaced by barter. People come with their goods and trade for credits, or units of buying value. Some people barter services, so you can go to a store and earn buying credits by painting, or re-flooring, or any other skilled labor you can contribute. Store employees work for the same buying credits. Some people called it socialism and a mini civil war broke out that took a year to quell. In the end, by 2012, people accepted the fact that the barter system worked, and as a result it has become more efficient and responsive to the needs of the people.

   The legal drug cartel - the pharmaceutical industry, has been taken over by the states and medicines are distributed freely to those who need them. Pharmaceutical workers, scientists, researchers...all are paid in barter credits.

   My job? I collect taxes, in the form of barter, but things like tax return forms and taxation rates have been replaced by a uniform collection system that demands very little from individuals. It works because there is no longer any large scale fraud or loopholes that exempt businesses, so the ultimate value of taxation barter collected far exceeds anything ever amassed by the defunct IRS.

   There are still serious problems and hardships that Americans must endure. From Minneapolis west to Las Vegas, America looks a lot like the wild west of old. Roving bands of marauders and small armies terrorize cities, particularly in states that have been decimated by the Great Floods of 2012, during which an unprecedented series of hurricanes swept through the Gulf states and left a trail of complete destruction in their wake.

  I wish that I could tell you more, but there really isn't much to say now. I lost my family in the Great Floods and I live alone in a small house in Rosemount, Minnesota. I had a son, William Jr. He was murdered by marauders on September 13 - nine days ago. I cannot describe to you the sense of complete devastation that I feel - not only for my family but also for my country; a place that I still love dearly for everything it once stood for and everything it is trying to be once again.

   This is my journal. Perhaps one day someone will discover this and understand that the price for freedom and safety from tyranny is mighty high. Nothing should ever be taken for granted. Today is my birthday. I am 72 years old, but I won't be here much longer. There is only one hospital and it is overflowing with victims of a new virus that no one understands yet. I understand it, though...I am dying.
 
   If you pass through and read this, good luck to you and may God be with you.

k

 
 
 
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Cash For Obamacare

 

   “We Need to Spend Our Way Out of this Depression

     ===========By William Levine========= 

     First of all, I didn’t know we were in a depression - the word I’ve become accustomed to is “Recession,” but okay, I can flexible and if Obama has decided we are in a Depression, than I guess we are in a Depression. No big deal. But this business about spending our way out has me wondering - has Obama simply gone mad or is there another agenda that we don’t know of. For the sake of argument, let’s assume Obama is not ready for an extended stay at Bethesda General’s Psych Unit. What could possibly be going through his head that would cause him to say that we can spend our way out of this mess? What economic principles do Obama and his crack (ed) economic advisors employ to deceive the public? Boy oh boy, would I love to see Obama’s stock portfolio.

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

US Healthcare

Oxford

American Brands Medical and Health Supply

Equitable Health & Life

AARP

TIAA

Wellcare U.S.

Eli Lilly

Bristol Myers Squibb

Boehringer Ingleheim Pharmaceuticals

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

     You know, Obama hails from the great state of Illinois; the very same state that has for untold years allowed Chicago to operate independently of state law - almost as if Chicago were a state in its own right. By the way, it just might be fact that Mr. Obama did his political internship with Rod Blagojevic.

     Woops. Problem. There is a first for everything, but this one is extraordinary. My spell check is squiggling the word “politics.” Idiosyncrasies like this don’t surprise me. I never type “goldsmith,” but that’s what I get when I key in “goddamitt” and you wouldn’t believe the tricks I must use in order to correct this quirky business. I hate these disputes with my computer. Consequently, there are times when decisive and ruthless action is warranted. I shut the guy down, hoping that giving him the “boot” might settle the argument. It did. Now I can’t use the word “politics” because this electronic monster of mine insists on changing it to “corruption.” Does Microsoft know something I don’t?

     After the disclosure that Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar (It must be an incredibly large jar, given the number of hands it can accommodate at one time) conspiring to sell President Obama’s Senate Seat, I reacted like most Americans do these days. “Oh. Hey, did you see what Philly did to the Giants yesterday?” Honestly, what’s the big deal? It’s not like he was trying to sell the seat to the Pope. Realistically, I don’t see the Pope interested in that job anyhow...he has enough to do. When God is your immediate supervisor, it’s not a good idea to start moonlighting as a Senator. Nice catch by the FBI though, huh? Well no, actually - the catch was routine and Special Agent Terrell Owens wasn’t using sharpies to sign depositions. I wouldn’t be impressed if Webster himself was the Special Agent in charge of this one. How difficult can it be to reel one in from a tank overcrowded with huge, brightly colored fish? I can see Secial Agent Webster now. “Which one should I pick? Let’s see...there’s bribery in the corner; sleaze, bottom feeding as usual; fraud hiding under that shell; and isn’t that arrogance swimming with duplicity?”Nonetheless, a catch is a catch and the Special Agents responsible hauled in a big Blagojevich. As it turns out, the Blagojevich needed a larger tank - one that could hold $500,000 as payment for the Senate seat. 

     Good old Rod. What a guy. At 51 and serving in his second term, the sleazebag referred to himself as a “reformer.” He sure did one one heck of a job reforming guidelines arguably followed by other governors saddled with similar responsibilities. For all we know, Rod might not be guilty of anything other than a desire to follow in the footsteps of his brilliant predecessor, George Ryan. Ryan distinguished himself as a reformer by bringing racketeering back to the Governor’s office where it belonged. Convicted in 2006, Ryan is still in prison - a remarkable feat by any standard. Maybe he didn’t have enough cash to buy an early release.There are always questions. One of them fascinates me. In the New York Times article by Monica Davey and Jack Healy printed December 9, 2008, they described the affidavit against Blagojevich as “a vivid picture of influence peddling and bare-knuckle politics in the Blagojevich administration, evoking the heyday of Chicago’s political machine.” Davey and Healy are journalists? For the New York Times? Where have they been for the last 20 years - sitting at home watching gangster flicks on TCM? Heck, I may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but even I know that contemporary political flim flam extends far beyond the confines of the windy city. Political chicanery like this happens everyday...everywhere, and heaven forbid - even Presidents have been known to be corrupt. Remember “Tricky Rick?” Well, now we have “Stows His Cash in Havana Obama.” I’ll bet you dollars to donuts, (believe it or not there’s a topless donut shop in Miami, called R-Donuts) Obama makes a tidy profit from National Healthcare. After all, he was raised under the tutelage of Ryan and Blago. Too bad the American people don’t see the things I do. If they did, what would they do? Probably what they do now when they hear about corruption in politics - nothing.
 
    By the by, regarding Blago, don’t you find it odd that it is the politicians themselves that seem to know least about these things. Is there no gossip in the Senate? Outrageous! These guys drink, don’t they? Obama said he knew nothing about the Blagojevich business or anything else for that matter and of course he didn’t mention any other improprieties in “bare-knuckle land USA.” I am not ashamed to admit that I find all of this a bit reminiscent of Schultz in Hogan’s Heroes. “I saw noth-ing.” Would I be out of line to suggest that a lot more than apple strudel buys silence in American brass-knuckle politics? Rod Blagojevich. A name that will be remembered for a few weeks, perhaps; until the next arrogant and stupid “reformer” gets caught with his pants down...oops, bad metaphor. Ah, so what? Does anyone remember Elliot Spitzer? (No! Not the kid that won all those gold medals swimming in the Olympics!) You remember Elliot, don’t you? What do you suppose happened to that “black book?” I haven’t heard a word about the Emperor’s Club since Elliot tucked in his shirt. Did someone accidentally lose the book? Impossible - nobody could be stupid enough to lose something like that. I wonder what it would bring at auction. I imagine the bidding would be fast and furious.
     “Sold...to the man with the fish hook in his mouth!” Strange, but Obama has a tiny scar above his upper lip.

    Well, that’s politics for ya’ buddy. Say, whaddya’ think of those Knicks? §   

   For more conservative dialogue: 

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Patriotism is Not the Issue

The Conservative Voice Needs a Make-Over

Dear Mr. Jones,

As a liberal, aren't you ashamed of your un-American and Godless views? You liberals are all alike; fiscally irresponsible and dedicated to bringing this country down with your socialist propaganda. Why not join us in making this country a better place for all people, except, of course, liberals. 
 
OR
 
Dear Mr. Jones:
 
As a dedicated conservative, I am sure that many of my beliefs are different than yours - yet some may be exactly the same. On at least one issue, I know we are both on the same page. We love this country and would do whatever it might take to make America even better for all. I suspect we have many things in common, including our views about national healthcare. Did you know that more than 40% of all liberals oppose national healthcare?
 
We respect and value your opinions and invite you to join us at... 
 

As conservatives, the time has come for us to decide how we wish to be perceived. "Hate-speak" has gotten us nowhere.
 
The Committee for Conservative Reform
 
 

 

 

 

 
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Liberal Priorities - The Idolatry of Michael Jackson

 
     Special News Alert    
   
    Michael Jackson Still Dead
        By Aunt Libby

       Greetings, southpaws. I must say I’ve always loved lefties. They throw the same spin - easy to read and even easier to poke, especially now that they’re so preoccupied. Do you think we’ve heard enough about Michael Jackson’s death?

      I was 14 when JFK died; a bullet to the head sent the nation into mourning and I’ll never forget that walk home from school with John and Tommy. The three of us broke down and cried. We knew as much about politics as we did about ant farming, but it didn’t matter - we knew...yes, we knew deep down inside, in that place reserved for unfathomable grief, that we had lost much more than a president. We had lost a piece of ourselves and the beliefs (still not fully developed) that would guide us through the traumas and the triumphs of life.

      Maybe we were the last of an endangered species, because we knew the difference between fame and greatness. We understood the transparency of celebrity and the substance of conviction and courage. Back then, the media seemed to be on the same page. John Lennon’s death was mourned and dissected at dinner parties...nowhere near as much was said about Martin Luther King but a helluva lot more was felt and the pain - well, it had a life of its own.

      Michael Jackson was an extraordinary talent and it would have been good if that was the extent of his impact on society. His death was at best unfortunate...period. I am sickened by the idolatry. The liberal voice of America - the media, has placed him on a pedestal and they will keep him there until the revenues subside. I watch the worshippers on TV and I must clench hard or I will vomit. They say he was philanthropic. Is that because he shared his semen with 7 year-olds?

      In the months to come, I won’t be surprised to learn that his physician stands to gain from his patient’s death. I can see it in my mind’s eye.

      “...and being of sound mind and body, I bequeath the entirety of my estate to my loyal and trusted physician...”

      Jackson was as insane as they get. Does he deserve the ongoing grief, the inane celebration of his life and the simpering sensationalism fostered by a media collective devoid of values...the truth be damned? I shed no tears for this man/woman child. On June 6, 1973, I cried tears of joy when a racehorse named Secretariat briefly captured the emotions of a country in turmoil. That beautiful animal was God’s gift to a nation in need of a hero. Again we are a nation in turmoil. Is Michael Jackson’s memory comforting in any way at all? Hell no!

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The Googleization of America

 
    Things to Consider Before Signing Up
 
    Censorship: Don't even think you can criticize the Internet Giant. Now they have Intelius, arguably the most deceitful and fraudlent force on the net, watching every move you make. Conservatives - worried about creeping federalization? Well...your next best threat to democracy is Googleization. Yesterday I was slapped with an Intelius violation for my remarks about Google. If you want to know the whole story, Google Google. You will see a rather long list of class action suits, (one already settled for $90,000,000,000) and many pending - some for inflating user numbers to deceive advertisers. Is censorship really an issue? I have had at least ten e-mail messages blocked because they criticized Google. So this is the American way?
    Hijacked addresses: What better way to inflate user accounts than to steal an address and distribute it freely to bulk mailers. Mine was stolen months ago - Google responded by doing absolutely nothing. Oh...they do let you know when fraudulent "me to me" mail is received, but they deliver the mail anyway. Um...does that make them an accessory?
    Constant encouragement to open new accounts with different names: I wonder why.
    Online marijuana sales: The Googleites must be smoking up a storm - they have no problem delivering pot sales messages. Why not deliver the pot themselves and get rid of the middleman?
    Retaliation: Watch your back. They have the power to make you and your computer non-functional.
    Mandatory Google sign-in to your computer: If you don't cooperate, they will effectively shut you down.
 
    There is a new form of terrorism that threatens America. Remember - they said it would come from within. An amoral Internet giant can gain complete control of the Internet. I need not mention the possible consequences.
 
    Conservatives - don't limit your fight for democracy and freedom to squabbles with liberals. Your future is in
G-eapardy.
 
  
 
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